


The darkness within

by Killjoy_shipper



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Crying, Depression, Fear, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Illness, Mental Instability, Stress, therapist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 13:36:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12169938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Killjoy_shipper/pseuds/Killjoy_shipper
Summary: Otabek finally breaks and seeks help. Yuri can only be by his side...





	The darkness within

“Otabek! I’m home. Sorry I’m late. Yakov had a lecture prepared for me after practice for not wanting to attend an interview about next season and I couldn’t avoid it this time… Otabek? Are you listening?” Yuri dropped his backpack and headed to the bedroom. His boyfriend was nowhere to be found. _Well, he must have gone somewhere_. That was what he thought and took of his clothes. As he approached the bathroom door, he noticed that it was locked. _Oh shit._  


“Otabek, will you open the door for me?”

“Oh Yuri, wait a second.” His voice was cracking. It took him several minutes to let him in, and his eyes were swollen and red. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” he said and left Yuri shower.

He was struggling with depression. He suffered of self-hatred and emotional pain for months. He despised himself for not succeeding, for not being enough. Every jump he didn’t make, every step sequence he didn’t manage to complete burdened him. It began from small things, and then escalated into something monstrous. Yuri tried to help him, yet he didn’t know how. 

It was only two weeks earlier that he had finally decided, or got convinced to be exact, to visit a therapist. She had told him that the unproductive stress was the source of his issue and that it could be controlled if he wanted to. He was reluctant at first, but ended up doing everything she said for the sake of improvement. He wanted to be free again.

Yuri couldn’t do anything but watch him and support him from afar. He wanted to help him, he couldn’t watch his boyfriend, the man he loved, to suffer in such a way. He wanted to help him get out of this as fast as he could, but as the therapist had told him, everything was up to Otabek. 

After he showered, he found dinner prepared for him. Otabek had decided to cook for the day, since he didn’t go to practice. They ate their food in silence, simply because Yuri was too reluctant to speak and Otabek didn’t open his mouth unless it was absolutely necessary. 

“You know, I haven’t heard your voice in a while.” Yuuri didn’t manage to keep his mouth shut and immediately regretted it. “Shit, I’m sorry. I said to myself that I’d let you talk to me when you wanted to, but I guess I couldn’t hold it in.”

“It’s okay. But I can’t speak. It hurts when I do.” Otabek closed his eyes but he couldn’t hold his tears in the end. “Sorry, I’ll be right back.” He left the table but Yuri followed him. 

“Wait! I know I can’t help, but I can at least be by your side if you feel like it. You can stay in my arms if it makes you feel better.” Yuri couldn’t believe in his eyes when Otabek looked straight into his eyes while crying and reached out to him for the first time. He approached Yuri and leaned on his shoulder, allowing him to shelter him with his arms. 

“If you’re here for me, it’s enough.”

“I’d never leave you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this when I was at a really bad state. It represents me and my mental health issues so this fic is really important to me. Thanks for reading!!


End file.
